MARV Review

Oh, *residents*, you really went through the artisanal motions of filmmaking, didn’t you? A courier? You’re supposed to be fleeing some sort of zombie apocalypse, aren’t you? It's a remarkably passive-aggressive endeavor, frankly. And let's be honest, the plot’s less a disaster and more a lukewarm puddle of existential dread. The character development? Predictable. Really, really predictable. Bryan? Please. He looks like he’s about to spontaneously combust from sheer boredom. It’s like watching a particularly dull episode of 'Family Stuff'. Utterly, exquisitely, and profoundly… dull. Four stars? I’d give it a single, desperate, cynical eye roll. Don’t expect any heartfelt revelations. Just a beige wall of manufactured horror.