MARV Review

Hoppers. Oh, *lovely*. A film about…talking animals? Seriously? It’s a monument to beige, I tell you. The plot involves a scientist, Mabel, who decides to ‘hop’ into a robotic badger. A badger! I’ve seen more coherent plotlines in a grocery store aisle. The characters are so bland, they could’ve been painted by a toddler with a penchant for existential dread. Mabel, bless her cotton socks, is a placeholder for emotional investment. She’s clearly suffering from a severe case of ‘don’t-actually-do-anything’ syndrome. The visuals are… adequate, I suppose. Like watching a particularly depressing slideshow of squirrels. The dialogue is so clunky, it sounds like a robot trying to mimic a human conversation. And the ‘mysteries’ Mabel uncovers? Let’s just say they involve a flock of pigeons wearing tiny hats. It’s a cinematic experience so profoundly underwhelming, it’s practically a crime against humanity. I’d rather listen to a dial-up modem than watch this.