MARV Review

*Primate*? Please. It’s less a film and more a meticulously crafted exercise in beige. The plot? A chimpanzee gets rabies. Seriously? It’s like watching a beige-colored, slightly unsettling slideshow of slapstick. The characters? Lucy, a perpetually unimpressed college student, and her friends – a collection of vaguely-defined individuals who seem to be actively trying to avoid any sort of genuine emotional engagement. Ben, the chimp? Let’s just say he’s less “adorable” and more “a walking, furry embodiment of existential dread.” The fight scenes? Let’s just say they’re less “epic” and more “slightly panicked attempts to avoid a minor injury.” The audience? They’re invited to participate in a slow-motion, agonizing descent into absurdity. I’d rather watch paint dry. Four out of five stars – one for the sheer audacity of its ambition to be utterly, profoundly boring.