MARV Review

Oh, *fantastic*. Another cinematic exercise in manufactured misery. “Send Help”? Really? It’s like watching a beige-toned, slightly damp pile of disappointment masquerade as a story. Two characters? Seriously? Two people? I’ve seen more compellingly irritating people in a toaster. Let’s just say the plot is less a narrative and more a meticulously crafted series of awkward silences punctuated by the occasional, predictably dramatic wipe. The “past grievances” are so stale, they’re practically fossilized. And the gore? Please. It’s a pale imitation of actual blood, like a toddler’s finger painting. The performances? Let’s just say Dylan O’Brien looks remarkably bored. Rachel McAdams, meanwhile, is attempting to convey a depth of emotion that suggests she’s been chewing on a particularly dusty piece of cardboard. It’s…adequate. “Entertaining” is a generous term; it’s a mildly irritating inconvenience. Three and a half stars? Don't expect a repeat viewing; you’ll be lucky to remember it. Probably.