MARV Review

Oh, *wonderful*. Another monument to manufactured emotion. Let’s see if this “sequel” manages to elicit a flicker of genuine interest, or just a deeper appreciation for the sheer, agonizing boredom of it all. “Troll 2” is less a sequel and more a desperate attempt to resurrect a franchise that’s already lost its soul. It’s like watching a beige-toned, slightly-too-enthusiastic parade of Nordic monstrosities. The plot, which involves a new, even *more* terrifying troll, is so predictable it could be used to construct a miniature model of a mountain range. The action sequences? Let’s just say they’re aggressively cheerful, like a toddler trying to juggle flaming bowling pins. The characters? They’re all vaguely unsettling, like poorly-rendered mannequins. Nora’s brooding intensity feels less like a dramatic arc and more like a prolonged period of existential dread. Andreas’s perpetually optimistic grin is grating, and Major Kris? He’s the embodiment of passive-aggressive enthusiasm. It's a symphony of mediocrity, played on a soundtrack of slightly-too-loud banjo. The ending? Don't even get me started. It’s a rushed, convoluted mess that feels less like a satisfying resolution and more like a desperate attempt to hold onto the fading memory of the first film. It’s a testament to how easily a good story can be undone by a generous application of CGI and a frankly insulting amount of glitter. Essentially, it's a cinematic beige. A profoundly dull, aggressively cheerful beige. Avoid. Seriously, just *avoid* it.